"Tension Breaker Had To Be Done"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

Can this day be finished already, I'm ready to crawl back under the covers! Basically, simple/no-brainer tasks are to difficult for me to do today, and I still have 2+ more hours of work left. And then I'm supposed to hangout with the old roommate. (yeah that one, but now it seems like she wasn't the one that sent the texts and I still don't know that is, but that's another story) At this rate, I might forgotten my name by then so I might need someone to remind me...

Fingers crossed that I make it, AND that tomorrow is better!!

Conflicted

Today is a friend's birthday. I am at a cross-roads as to whether I should post on his FB wall, as I have for many years, or just forgo it this year. We have told each other Happy Birthday every year for almost 20 years.

Let me explain, this friend (an ex, but on good terms) is now in prison. For very BAD things! He went in before Thanksgiving, and is still nowhere near finding out if and how long he might be there. I feel bad not doing so, but I'm sure that even if I did post, he would not see it. What to do, what to do?

Inclemate Weather

Saw something on Facebook this morning that "struck me funny". A friend of a friend had posted that because of the ice that everyone needed to be safe because the FD and EMS were shut down. I texted my brother to share said person's ignorance and to ask if that was ever a possibility. Maybe she did know something I didn't, but my hero brother has been doing this for fifteen years now and I can't ever remember him not going to work. (well not for non-personal reasons, LoL) I got the exact response I had anticipated getting.

She did have one thing correct, the roads are nasty everyone does need to drive safely, if they have to drive at all (it's not worth it, don't go out if you don't need to) At no point does EMS, FD, Police, dispatch, etc...close, ever. These brave people risk their lives 365 days a year, these offices don't close for holidays, weather or sickness. Someone is ALWAYS there.

Here is the point of today's random blog: be smart when you are out in bad weather (anytime really). Not only are you risking your life, but the lives of the first response teams. These people are someone's family members. They work long hours, for not nearly enough pay, and are away from their families to save/protect you. Respect them, for they are truly heroes.

That's all for now...

Failure...

I hate when I get fussed at. Hate it even worse when I deserve it. :( Forgot to make a payment to Aflac and had to tell the boss that I had to send in 2 months worth of payments. Wouldn't be so bad if I was allowed to write the checks when I got the invoices, but instead I usually have to ask permission if it's ok to send anything out. And then they pile up, and I just forgot. Le Sigh...

I'm in a funk today, and being yelled at hasn't improved my mood. Think it's time to go home and hide under my blankets. Maybe tomorrow will be better?

Chu-Chi Face

Having a bit of nostalgia as I sit here at work. My grandfather used to sing this song to me when I was a little girl. Missing him and my grandmother at the moment...

Inconsiderate Bitch

Breath...In through the nose, out through the mouth...

I'm finding that more and more, it takes less and less to make my blood boil. This morning it was a text from an old roommate/friend (we were co-workers). This is a person that for the 4 months that she lived with me, she Never paid for the cable/internet that she used everyday, complained that MY apartment wasn't to her taste, a person who everyday she lived with me, would tell me how bad a person I was because I didn't share the same view points as she did about living. How as a person who grew up in the country, I should strive to live that way. Truth is I will always be a city girl at heart. I love being able to go at 2am to the gas station 1/4 of a mile away and get something if I want. I would love to be able to order takeout at odd hours of the morning just because I can...(So far Somerset hasn't become that advanced, but I've got my fingers crossed, or there's always moving, LoL) A person, I never actually invited to move in with me, but in passing said, maybe if you move out from your new place, and need a roommate we can look together. Her plans fell through (She had broken up with her boyfriend and moved in with family that wanted her to pay more than she thought was fair) and she called me the next day and said, I'm moving in today, get that room ready. And honestly, when she moved out (she got back together with her boyfriend and moved back in with him), I was all to glad to dissolve the acquaintanceship.

Randomly over the past 6 months, she would get minutes on her phone (she thinks they are evil, as is all technology, and doesn't know why anyone would want to have one permanently) and she would send me "Hi how are you, I need to come visit sometime" texts. To which I always am nice and say sure, whenever, and hope that she doesn't show up. She is the type to just stop by unannounced, and usually when I am busy.
Today she texts me from an unknown number, from CO. I don't know anyone in CO! I'm one of those that will ask who it is, and if they won't tell me, I ignore them. She went on sending 7-8 more messages about how yes I did have that number, yes I knew exactly who it was and then let me know she was pregnant. I have gotten messages from wrong numbers, so I let her know, as a female, baby wasn't mine, but I was happy for whoever it was. To which her reply was, I needed to stop being an inconsiderate bitch and be happy for her...I didn't respond, and 2 messages later she tells me who she is. The last correspondence I've had with this female was more than a week ago, I checked, from a different number. Grrr. Usually I joke about being called a bitch, but for some reason, today, coming from her, it PISSED me off. It was probably the inconsiderate part and less the bitch, but still, sigh...

Ok, blood is back to normal. Rant is over.

Resolutions and Baby Steps

I've officially been single now for going on 3 years. And sadly I'm one of "those" kind of single people, you know the ones that are ashamed to be seen out in public alone, because geesh, single people are some kind of lepers... I've lived the hiding in shadows hermit thing for so long it's second nature, but today I did something out of the norm for the fear of becoming my grandmother.


I went out to eat, alone.


Granted it was only to KFC, but I went inside and ordered and sat there, all by myself, and ate. Normally I would have gone through the drive-through and brought my food back home, to eat alone, with the animals (Yeah I'm one cat away from being the crazy cat lady...1 dog, 1 cat) And guess what, nothing happened. None of the other diners pointed, or sneered, or looked pityingly at me, or anything other than enjoy their own meals. Next? I plan on going to the movies, think I'll go see Les Miserables. After that, who knows. Maybe this will be the year I take a vaction to somewhere exotic.


I figured that since we've hit the new year, my resolution to myself is to become more OK with who I am. Get out of the rut that I have been in for almost 3 years now. (Get up, go to work, come home, watch tv, rehearsal when there's a show, bed, repeat) I plan to do more things, get out of the house for more than just work and to stop waiting for someone to invite me to do things. I think this was all stemmed a couple of weeks ago when my mother asking me how much longer I was going to do the "celibate thing" and that made me start thinking about Grams (the grandmother/psycho bitch). Then last night I watched "Hope Floats" and there is a scene where Sandra Bullock has gone out to eat, alone, and Harry Conick Jr. tells her to be mysterious, like the choice is hers. And damnit, the choice is mine. And I choose to stop being afraid to go out alone. I choose to be adventurous and to LIVE my life instead of being some recluse.


My goal this year is to become the person I want to be, and be happy about who I see in the mirror. I know I'm not going to be the twig thin model type, I have come to terms with that, but I strive this year to become healthier, and more active. Making more friends, even if it means just reconnecting with old ones that I have neglected. And on that note, I'm going to finish here and go write a much overdue letter (yes letter) to a friend that has always been an inspiration to me.


I hope that you my nonexistant readers will also take the baby steps to becoming the you, you want to be. Until later, Ciao